My Client Called Me His Guardian Angel. Here's What Executive Leadership Coaching With Me Looks Like.

He turned on the camera for our zoom meeting and placed a small crystal angel figurine on his shoulder like it belonged there.

"This is Tammy," he said. "My guardian angel."

Six months earlier, this same executive could barely make eye contact with me. His CEO had recommended he hire a coach because she believed he could be her successor. He first needed to iron out some rough edges. And he needed to understand that this would require a new mindset from “his way or the highway”.

I resisted the urge to give him some tough love — instead, as I often do, I just got curious. We explored his motivations and intentions, and the picture of what was happening around him began to emerge.

However, somewhere in those early conversations, I noticed that he would share more with me if I also shared some of my own experiences with him — once I started sharing about me and not just asking about him — something shifted. 

I learned something new from this coaching experience. Contrary to my long-held belief that coaching isn’t supposed to be about the coach, he helped me realize that sometimes it HAS to be a little about you, as you share things about yourself, to build trust with someone who needs that give and take.

By the time that little angel figurine made her appearance, he'd come to see our sessions as a place where he could process frustrations with someone who was fully in his corner: telling him the truth, guiding him with some new approaches and helping him let go a little to see the merit in other people’s views and ideas. 

That's really what a good coach is: a guardian angel. Think about who else in your professional life is fully on your side and devoted to heightening your self-awareness. Your board (understandably) wants results, your team wants direction, and your peers are managing their own agendas. Even the people who care about you are often invested in a particular version of your success.

A coach is different. We have no stake in your title, your politics, or your compensation -- only in you becoming the best leader you're capable of being. That's why the relationship works: you finally have someone to talk with who wants nothing from you except your growth. 

Clients Walk Away With Something New To Try

One thing clients often tell me is that they appreciate that I provide new behavior strategies—‘the how’ to make behavior changes—not just ‘the  what’ that’s creating their issues. They appreciate that I get straight to the point about what needs to shift in their approach, I don’t beat around the bush, and then I help them figure out how to make that shift, with practical steps they can start using right away.

What I’ve learned is that everything boils down to communication.

• Do you frame your points so they’re easy to understand?

• Are you concise and provide the right amount of detail or are you long-winded (so people tune you out)?

• Are you clear about your expectations of your team but don’t micro manage?

The list goes on (stay tuned for a future article on this). My ‘how to’ strategies tend to center around communication since this is the primary way to change how you impact others.

I've had clients who’ve worked with other coaches describe the difference this way: with other coaches, they walked away with a list of issues to think about. With me, they leave every session with something new to try. That's the standard I hold myself to. Coaching should give leaders tools they can use immediately, not just topics to ponder.

Real Change, Without Losing Authenticity

One of the things I'm proudest of is helping strong, direct leaders become more effective communicators without watering down what makes them powerful.

I've been working with someone who has run HR for three different companies over the past ten years. She came to me because she needed to communicate less aggressively and convey things with greater sensitivity — even though her candor, directness, and forthright style were exactly why she'd been so successful.

We didn't diminish her fierceness, we simply helped her channel it. She's still direct and matter-of-fact, but she now shares her perspective by framing what she is about to say so her audience is ready to hear it. Her comments are framed around what's good for the organization, its people and each leader, not just what’s going wrong.

That's the outcome I aim for with every client: greater confidence without greater ego and a touch more diplomacy in the approach. For even the toughest personality, the adjustment feels easy and authentic.

How The Coaching Process Works

Most of my clients come to me through a referral. Often a CEO, a head of HR, or a division leader  reaches out and says, "I have a situation, and I'd like you to work with this person."

From there, here's what typically happens:

1. The chemistry conversation
The coachee and I meet for 30–60 minutes, usually over Zoom. This isn't a sales pitch. We have a real conversation, where I ask a lot of questions to understand their needs and interests, and where they get a clear sense of what our work together would feel like.

2. A focused engagement
I usually start with a six-month engagement. In my experience, anything shorter doesn't allow for new habits to become permanent. Some engagements — especially ones that strengthen emotional intelligence — extend to (or begin with) nine months or a year, with clients extending in three-month increments as needed.

3. Regular rhythm, real access
We typically meet once every 10 days, amounting to two or three times a month. And I don’t disappear  between sessions; if something comes up, clients text me, and we hop on a zoom meeting or call to resolve their immediate challenge. 

4. Honest, discreet feedback
I always tell clients: my job is to have their back, which means being open, honest and direct about what I am observing, something others won’t typically do. I'm also careful to maintain confidences in every context. If I'm checking in with a client's boss (at their request), my client knows exactly when that's happening and we’ve already agreed on what I will share. Importantly, I take the same approach in instances where I coach multiple people in the same organization.

I don’t share with anyone who else I am coaching nor what each of us are discussing. I’ve actually found that coaching multiple people in one company enables me to be even more effective with everyone, because I am able to gain a much deeper sense of the culture, performance standards and expectations at all levels.

Trust is such a critical element for a successful coaching engagement, but it doesn't always emerge right away. It develops in the first few weeks and then deepens over the course of the work. Clients quickly see that I'm not there to judge them, there is no sense of right and wrong and there are just new ways to approach things that will get them further in their leadership impact.

5. Some time to reflect
My coachees often share that our meetings provide them time to think about how they operate, the perception they’re creating, and what they might want to do differently to achieve their professional goals. They don’t have time to do this in their regular day-to-day. Our time together provides rare moments away from work to reflect on their impact and authenticity. 

Who Gets the Most Out Of Executive Leadership Coaching

Although I only coach seasoned executives, mindset matters more than experience and title. My ideal client is someone who already senses they need to adjust their approach to have a deeper impact — whether that shows up in how they influence and lead others, how they communicate, or how they inspire trust.

When clients come to me, they typically find themselves in one of the following categories:

• They need to start or continue evolving in their  self-awareness
  They may not yet have a clear read on how they come across to others, and they're genuinely open to hearing observations and trying new approaches.

• They want to leverage their well-developed emotional intelligence to manage difficult personalities and improve relationships
  They're tuned into the nuances of their relationships and want to identify some new strategies for operating effectively and improving their work environment.

• They don’t believe they need coaching and want to continue elevating their role They lack self awareness and haven’t responded to recommended changes from their boss. (The reality is, most bosses aren’t direct enough in their critical feedback, and/or, they share the issue but provide no strategies for how to resolve it.) I often find I need to clarify for the coachee what’s going on and which behaviors need to change and why.  

All three types make excellent coaching clients — the difference is just where we start.

What Outcomes Look Like

Six months in, here's some real-time feedback that my clients hear from colleagues: 

• "Wow, you've changed! You're easier to work with now."

• "I agree with what you said in the meeting today."

• "I appreciated your input in that strategy meeting."

• From leadership: "You've been leaning into what we talked about and it’s making a difference. Keep it up.”  

This feedback stems from tangible, noticeable shifts in how someone communicates, how precisely they express themselves, and how thoughtfully they engage with the people around them. My goal is always for that change to last long after our formal work together ends; I call it "becoming part of their DNA." The improvement sticks because the changes have become part of how they naturally operate. 

I Have A Handful Of Openings 

I only take on a handful of executive leadership coaching clients at a time, because the depth of this work depends on it. 

If you're a leader — or you know one — who's ready to communicate with more clarity, lead with more confidence, and build the kind of relationships that make people want to work with you, I'd love to talk. Reach out to set up a chemistry conversation, and let's figure out together whether this is the right fit.